Black is BITCHY!

I was reading a copy of this month's Essence magazine at the hairdresser recently (some of the best reading is done under the dryer)and I saw something in it about black women being bitchy. I do believe it was an article, but my memory escapes me right now, suffice it to say that the idea impacted the topic of this blog post. By the way, you should all get a copy, or glance through a copy of this month's Essence it's real good.

I have heard it time and time again, by American men on talk shows: the black woman is a bitchy, strong-headed, over-confident, over-sensitive, lippy beast.

Thus, American men on these talk shows say they prefer white women because they are easier to deal with, and basically they can push them around.

After watching the movie For Coloured Girls it became more apparent to me why Black women came off as such and the reason behind it.

For centuries Black women had to fight, fight for their families, their rights, their voice to be heard... there have been battles and obstacles all the way and it is not easy for them to lay down this "fighter" part of their personality and be the submissive girlfriend or partner that the American male (and undoubtedly other males desire).

I may sound like a Black feminist, and this may sound like a conspiracy theory or may seem too far fetched, but what the heck... this is the Internet, you're allowed to be a conspiracist or a drama queen.

In an example from the book "Lion Heart Gal" (written by the Sistren group, and can be found in local libraries): Nanny of the Maroons (our only heroin) was the fighter, leader and mother of her group of Maroons. She wasn't only a fearless leader, but she was a caring leader. She provided for her clan and was said to be one of the best leaders. The book goes on to explain how colonialism tried to water down the strong woman, the fighter woman.... by calling the person who takes care of the child and the home a Nanny. They add that although the woman was seen as able to do both and not compromising one for the other; what was taught during colonialism was a different thing. The woman was to be the nurturer and the child-bearer.

In breaking down the fighter woman, the strong one, comes the submissive, subservient woman. This not only allowed for their places to be in the homes, but allowed white men to feel that they were entitled to have sex with them (RAPE), and today we are well aware that some men think like this.

So, the black woman always has to be fighting, for her life, her sanity, her rights. in reading some notes on Feminism and Black Feminists I found a quote from Joyce McCarl Nielsen, she says that women who work have to have two roles: their work in the marketplace and their work in the home, they dare not neglect one for the other. While men, who have children, only have ONE role and that is in the marketplace. Can you see the disparity? Some have said that this double role was to discourage women from working because it was held (YEARS ago) that women should not work and their only task is to procreate and take care of the home; thus, if their responsibilities are made more difficult because of their jobs they would eventually quit the job and stay home full-time (as they think it should be).

Women have always been fighting for a place: a respectable, equal place in this patriarchal(patriarchy: a system of oppression in which males have power over women) and androcentric (androcentrism- a world view or approach to knowledge that ignores the experience of women) world.

It may be argued that the fight for the Black woman was longer and harder than that of any race, due to racism. Racism.

Racism is the belief that the genetic factors which constitute race are a primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race. Thus, racial preferences. As we all know, Black was not the race of choice... I'm really not gonna go into all the racial discrimination Blacks faced because I am not emotionally equipped to deal with all that right now.... but let's just say, to be any sort of animal would've been better than being Black.

With all these obstacles that have been overcome and with some that still exist today, the Black woman can't seem to take down her defense. If she takes it down, she gets hurt...even by her own race (prevalence of incest and rape cases throughout the Black community). She feels she needs to have her guard up at all times, and she is better on her own than letting her guard down to be hurt.

The Black woman has years of scarring, hurt and pent-up anger. The Black woman wants to be respected. The Black woman wants to be your equal, not your slave. The Black woman does not want to be held back...held back by past misconceptions and lies. The Black woman wants to chart her own path. For all this, the Black woman will be over-confident, lippy, over-sensitive, stong-headed and bitchy... because the Black woman wants to be free.