Wifey walk out ... Matey go home

Wifey (n): 1.The original girlfriend 2.The first girlfriend 3. for some men- the only
girlfriend

Matey (n): 1. the "other" girl/s 2. miss second-in-command


Just to make it clear I will tell you a story:

Once upon a time there was a handsome boy named Jonathon*. At a very young age he realized that he attracted females: young, old, black, white, slim or fat, he attracted them all. Jonathon* liked attention and he liked girls. When he turned 16 he really started noticing girls. He met Kerah* and Jodi* at a friend's sweet 16. He took both their numbers. The next day he sent a text message to both girls. He believed in not making a girl feel ignored. Over a few weeks he and Kerah* got really close, they decided they would make it official and enter into a relationship. He had a lot of fun with Kerah* all the time, and neither of them pressured the other for sex; the good old days. However, after a few more weeks Jodi* started showing signs that she wanted to get closer (than her spot in the friend zone). Jonathon* told her he has a girlfriend now and that he doesn't think it's the time for her to be feeling this need to be "closer". Jodi* ignores this comment and insists on seeing him, although Jonathon* senses that he shouldn't go to meet Jodi* he tells himself that he doesn't want to disappoint any female so he goes to meet her anyway. Jodi* is a year older (17) and has already lost her virginity, she is still experimenting and wants to make Jonathon* a part of her next experiment. Eventually she succeeds, they have sex. A few months pass and Jonathon* hooks up with Jodi* a few more times, even after Kerah* has started having sex with him. One day Jonathon* and Kerah* go out to a party, lo and behold Jonathon* realizes Jodi* is a few metres away from them. He plays it cool, but Jodi is pissed and makes it known that she disapproves by walking past and "accidentally" bumping into Kerah and "accidentally" spilling drinks on her. Jonathon decides enough is enough and confronts her. Moral of the story: Matey fi know dem place

*- fictional characters

To make it clear I have never had a matey (to my knowledge at least), however it is a growing dynamic in Jamaica with men giving the lame excuse that "there are more women than men" so they are really doing us a favour, and giving the cheeky remark "sharing is caring".

There are all different types of the wifey-matey relationship: they may know of each other, they may approve of their statuses, they may not know of each other, they may despise each other, they may be related... all sorts of different situations exist. However, the critical thing is that each one should know their place. If you are aware that he has a girlfriend and you decide to be that girl-on-the-side, you should be prepared to accept that you are not entitled to benefits. You may get the occasional dinner, valentine's day gift or weekly upkeep (money) but if you are neglected any of the above or other benefits you are in no position to threaten to tell the "wifey" what's going on.

It's like signing a contract with a loan shark, borrowing their money and then wanting to report them to the police. You know what you were signing up for.

If you know that the man and his wifey are going out don't make it your point of duty to show up there and be giving him and the lady "bad yeye" all night. What does that really accomplish? Don't slander his name or her name on the streets either and don't spread rumours of them breaking up because you want him all to yourself. This may backfire and cause him to drop you like hot bricks. When you decided to be the matey you knew you wouldn't have him all to yourself, so bitch please pack away the jealousy.

For the wifeys out there who know that they have a matey (whether they approve or not) and choose to live with it, then you know that you have signed a contract too. You are aware of the benefits you used to get, don't be demanding more because you are jealous that you are sharing with a matey.

Also, men know that your matey cannot be getting more benefits than the wifey. She was the one you chose first, and she was the one who has put up with most of your shit: because generally you like with wifey or see her more often than the matey. Don't cross that line and disrespect her.

For the wifeys and mateys who don't know about each other, and therefore each one thinks they are "the one", be civil. When you find out about each other you need to be civil. What's the point in fighting over a man who probably doesn't want you anyway? If you see him out with her, don't run over and make a scene- if he sees you or not resolve to deal with the issue another time. Call him later or arrange to meet him and ask who the girl is, chances are he will lie. But you just keep your antennae up, so you don't miss that next clue. Most situations turn out better when handled delicately, as opposed to aggressively.

Parting comment: Wifey walk out, Matey stay home an wait til him call you please.