An ally?
That fateful day in 2010 when I decided that I wanted to look at how homosexual relationships differ from heterosexual relationships for my final year research preject was the day I was introduced to J-FLAG and the Jamaica AIDS Support for Life (which shared premises at the time). Surely, I couldn't imagine that 3 years later I would be working for JASL and working closely with J-FLAG.
By early 2011 I had to start gathering data. Luckily some of my friends were able to link me with some persons from the LGBT community. But that was not enough, although I was glad to have gotten their help, I needed information from authoritative sources.
I visited J-FLAG's website and cried as I read the testimonials. Wept, really. I wept for those persons who were brutally attacked, harrassed... for those who died. Getting through to a contact as J-FLAG proved to be more difficult than securing a place at Barack Obama's dining table. The organization was under wraps...underground, after their last office had been "invaded". However, after what seemed like a lifetime, and one million emails to their generic email address (no phone number was on the site either) I finally got a reply. Needless to say I was "happy like pickney pon weekend".
I was invited to their office to speak with Executive Director, Dane Lewis, and another person (a male client). I was given their much sought after address. Of all the gates on the avenue, one didnt have a number or a sign, so I chose that gate. There were two buildings on the compound, so of course I went to the first and bigger of the two. When I went to the verandah (it was an old home converted into a business place) someone met me at the grille asking how they could be of assistance. I didn't know how to respond because by now I expected someone to ask me for a secret password and just walk me through a dark alley to meet in secret with Dane. However, I whispered that I was looking for J-FLAG's office nervously hoping I was in the right place, because I didn't want to give away their secret location. "Oh, they'really at the back. The next building" - how relieved I was to hear these words. I approached the building with caution, as I passed the rainbow flag tied to the grille - the only sign they needed.
Speaking with Dane before the interview led me to the assumption that I was only allowed into this sacred place because Mr. Lewis was a graduate of CARIMAC and he too would have been in my position many moons ago. Whatever the reason, I was happy to have been granted entry.
As Dane responded to my questions, it painted an even more dismal picture of the reality of LGBT persons in Jamaican society.
Following his interview, I spoke with another young man. After speaking with Dane I was so conscious of the hostile environment, that I became more concerned with the safety of the participant than the interview itself. It got to a point where the interviewee had to reassure me that we were in a safe space.
After assuring them that only my lecturer would hear the final preject (it had to be done in radio documentary form, I was studying Media & Communication with a specialisation in Radio) they sent me on my way. I was so happy to have gotten into that space. In my excitement I shared the day's happenings with my parents who were still asking "so you cya find anything else to study?" - but we're at least happy I was getting somewhere with the project.
Fast forward to 2012. One year and many gay friends later I was asked by a friend to participate in a campaign J-FLAG would be launching - I would speak, on video, perhaps to announce that I am an ally or that all people are equal. Whatever it would have been, it would be a general statement, but it would be a J-FLAG initiative. I was really so eager to participate, I was humbled to have been asked and excited that I, as a Christian, would do something no other Christian I knew at the time would do. However, after a discussion with another group of friends who asked "when since yuh have so much guy friend?" - a question I truly couldn't answer - they advised me against it. They told me it could potentially hurt my career, yadda yadda. So I reluctantly called my friend and told her I was unable to do it. I missed my opportunity to publicly announce (or denounce, depending on how you're looking at it) that I was an ally of the LGBT community.
As fate would have it, in early 2013 I began volunteering with the Jamaica AIDS Support for Life, just a stone's throw from J-FLAG which was "just around the back". Eventually I became friends, or acquaintances if you wish, with a guy who introduced himself to me as "New York". After a while it seems I had "fit in" well enough for them (him and other guys who came to the office) to share with me, and "be themselves" in the small office space I occupied with my slow computer and antique wooden floor.
Who could have told me that during my thesis-writing process, a very stressful time for any Master's student, I would get a call from JASL stating that they will be adding a position and would like to know if I would be interested in applying? I was happy for a number of reasons: 1. Surely that had seen some special quality, which was why they wanted me back; 2. I was just completing my master's and was being offered a job even before I submit my thesis - how awesome is that? ; and 3. I would be using my degree (both of them actually). So in the first week of December I officially became a JASL employee.
In 2014, I am a full-fledged humanitarian. In 2012 a friend of mine had labelled me and such and now I feel I can accept the title. I've been involved in advocacy work and public education, and a range of other things not only championing the cause for people living with HIV, LGBT persons, persons living with disabilities and sex workers, but for every disadvantaged group. At all these events, or occasions of advocacy, J-FLAG has been there. No longer an underground organization, they have a phone number now and their Executive Director (who is still Dane Lewis), now has a name and face known by the public.
J-FLAG's decision to "come out of the closet" (stealing a line from Jaevion's speech at their 16th anniversary celebration recently) did quite a bit for LGBT youth in particular. It sent a message that you don't have to hide, be proud of who you are, where you are, identify with your sexuality but do not be defined solely by your sexuality. That last one "do not be defined solely by your sdxuality" is so important because if we only see J-FLAG as a "batty man organization", we can't see the great work they are doing as a human rights agency.
After sufficiently stroking the ego of the organization and it's constituents, I can get into the other section of this blog post:
As I had said before I gave up my opportunity to publicly state that I was an ally in the, now historic, We are Jamaicans video campaign - all those videos moved me to tears - but I suppose I was still a "practising ally" as my "gay friends" circle grew.
But then, what is an ally? Is this a war? Battle of the sexualities? Why do I need to be an ally? Why can't I just be a regular member of society, existing in the same space with my fellow man, my brethren, my sister, my friend who just happens to be L or G or B or T or even Q?
How does someone's sexuality become your business, why does it affect how you treat them? How does their expression threaten you? Why must they die? Do you deserve to die, for just being YOU?
Jamaicans are hypocrites, we are all hypocrites. We create our own self-righteous bubble and scoff at others who sin differently from us, because we're all religious right? But only when it's convenient. For example: people are saying that you should not get into married people's bedrooms, as a defense against adjusting our laws surrounding marital rape. But they have no problem getting into someone's bedroom to enforce the buggery law. What makes a married couple so different from a monogamous gay couple? Oh, it's the sex that becomes the problem. Some homosexuals are beaten, jeered, killed... for nothing. They haven't even had the chance to have any sex, some don't even want any sex, but they deserve to die because they think about men? Because they happen to swing their hips? Lesbians deserve to be "correctively raped" because a good dick is what they need? Transgender persons deserve to be beaten and killed because they defy the status quo?
Why can't we stop being ridiculous? Why can't we stop hating people for no reason? What authority do we have to oppress anyone who may be perceived as diffferent? We are all Jamaicans.
When can we stop drawing battle lines? When will we be able to just be regular citizens who don't have to identify as an LGBT ally? While I am proud to be "in alliance" with the LGBT community, I would like to remove the barriers so other people can benefit from the company of my gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender friends. Why can't we all live as one Jamaica? Why can't the defenders of Shebada, also defend that boy, that girl down the road? Not saying Shebada is gay but persons have speculated and it's speculation that drives homophobic violence because more often than not the individual did not publicly state that they are a member of the LGBT community.
I thank Father Sean for his, now controversial, Human Rights Day Observance Service where he washed the feet of two women who happen to be lesbians and invited a Transgender man to speak. I applaud Rochelle, Jalna and FJ for participating in the service and "coming out" in Jamaican media. We cannot ignore the "infamous" homeless LGBT youth by Shoemaker Gully, who may be helping or hurting the cause, but by no means will remain silent.
It's easy to label LGBT persons as thieves (esp. the group in New Kingston), and other awful things. It is so easy because it's a small group, it is a subset of society. Whatever happens in society happens in the LGBT community but it just seems much worse because of the size of the group. You are no better than an LGBT person.
Stop the hate. Forget being an ally, be an upstanding citizen of Jamaica, who respects the rights of every other citizen.
The national anthem says:
" Teach us true respect for all,
Stir response to duty's call.
Strengthen us the weak to cherish,
Give us vision lest we perish"
The national pledge says:
"... I promise to stand up for justice, Brotherhood and peace"
We are ALL Jamaicans
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