Marital Rape, Sex Work and Misogyny in Jamaica

rape1
noun1. the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual
intercourse.2.any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.3.statutory rape.
4. an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation:
the rape of the countryside.5.Archaic. the act of seizing and carrying off by force.
verb (used with object), raped, raping.
6.to force to have sexual intercourse.7.to plunder (a place); despoil.8.to seize, take, or carry off by force.
verb (used without object), raped, raping.9.to commit rape.

I am writing this post in BOLD, because I am really annoyed with some of the comments being made, in light of the review of the Sexual Offences Act; Having been involved in the process of submitting revisions (with a group of awesome NGOs), I feel my proximity to the issue has further fueled my anger. Which can be a recipe for disaster, but I promise this post will be civil enough.

We understand generally that RAPE is forcing someone (against their will) to have sex with you or perhaps someone else. Therefore, anyone can be raped. There is no way to prevent rape, no matter what you wear, no matter where you go. RAPE is a man-made disaster ["human-made" disaster"], in a similar way that we can't plan in order to prevent a natural disaster - we can't really plan to prevent rape.

One does not go out preparing to be raped. 

Now, in Jamaica rape is defined as non-consensual penile penetration of the vagina. That's it. If someone rams in and out of any crevice [used for sexual pleasure or excretion] with a broom, for argument's sake, that is not rape. If someone forcibly penetrates your sister with a dildo, that is not rape. If someone forces your son, brother, father, uncle to have anal sex... that is not rape.

If your husband violently, forcibly, without your consent, penetrates your vagina ... that is not rape; even though the definition of rape in the law would be satisfied here: non-consensual, forced penetration of the vagina by the penis. However, if you are one of those persons who believe a wife cannot be raped by her husband then perhaps your relatives penned this law because marital rape really doesn't exist under the law. 

In order for a wife to claim her husband raped her there must be [documented] legal separation for a certain period of time and they must be living separately for a certain period of time. So, the man who comes home to you every night is incapable of raping you by virtue of the vows you took when you got married, and because the bible says you should be submissive to your husband.

When I was younger I scoffed at Rita Marley saying that Bob raped her - "how could this money-loving, fame-grabbing, attention-seeking bitch say these things about the Reggae icon I love"... But after I read her book 'No Woman No Cry: My Life with Bob Marley'  my appreciation for Rita grew. I realised she wasn't any of those things I initially thought and despite how nonchalantly I looked at Bob Marley's multitude of children - all these children were conceived while he was still married to Mumma Rita. Anyhow, I really wanted to read about this alleged rape: So, because of Bob's cheating, Rita had stopped having sex with him [she lock shop] and they weren't really living together - she in the family house in Bull Bay, and he at the famous home/studio on Old Hope Road - and one day he came back from tour and "insisted" he would have sex with her...

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Your marital status should not define your eligibility to claim you were raped; and not only to make the claim, but should not affect the presence of justice in the matter. 

Now, when we presented our recommendations on marital rape (that the clauses need to be removed) - one particular senator really took us on and missed the point [entirely], asking whether we need to print sex forms that wives need to sign before intercourse to make sure she consented. Horse shit.

All we're saying is that a woman is in charge of her body, whether she is married or not. Her body does not seize to be in her control because she's changed/added a last name and because she may wear a shiny rock on her left ring finger.

Now, speaking of being in control...

... and reiterating the point that women are ultimately in charge of their bodies, let's talk about SEX WORKERS - not prostitutes, hookers, whores, ladies of the night, p*ssy sellers - sex workers. Every time some persons hear this term, this occupational title, they turn up their noses and you can see the discomfort on their face ... and if they are to be in the same space with someone who makes it known that they are in fact a sex worker, oh my, they would probably explode.

However, in actuality sex workers are people just like you and I who work to maintain themselves and their families. Their choice of work may differ from yours but it is their means of earning an income. The major difference is that their work is criminalised ... for no reason really... I invite you to read the laws [Sexual Offences Act and Town and Communities Act], there is really no reason it is illegal. While you may make the argument that you may not be able to see the reason anything is illegal... SHHHHH, I'm talking about this now.

Sex workers are probably the only people I know [in life...ever] who actually want to pay taxes and are unable to because what they are [essentially] criminals. They have to state that they are entrepreneurs, or bartenders in order to access social services. Another issue is that their children and any other dependents are also considered criminals because of their use of this "tainted" money.

Seeing how people react to sex workers, and perhaps to women in general, really gets me thinking about misogyny - which I initially thought was some kind of myth or a fabrication of the imagination of an over-reacting feminist, but it is a real issue.

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misogyny

mɪˈsɒdʒ(ə)ni/

noun

1. dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

   "she felt she was struggling against thinly disguised misogyny"

How we tend to speak about women and how women tend to be portrayed in media, makes that sentence true - we seem to be struggling against thinly disguised misogyny. 

A simple Google image search for the word 'women' can sum up the general view/ perception of women. A 'sexualised' image is within the first few pictures on the page, and the clothes begin to disappear as you scroll, and certainly more raunchy sexualised images pop up. In addition, the suggestion bar includes these other options: "women body shapes for men"; "giving birth in hospital"; and "giving birth crowning". So in essence, a woman exists to please a man and to give birth.

I may be getting too 'deep' here for you, and honestly I know it's easy to get all wrapped up in these thoughts and I am aware that it may affect your relations with people, but all I'm saying is that misogyny exists. It may be subconscious, you may not even realise that your comments, or thoughts are misogynistic - because [hey!] that's what society believes - but I challenge you to think about four things:

1. What do you think about yourself
2. Why do you think these things
3. What do you think about women
4. Why do you think these things

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Until next time ... stay woke !