#RESOLVElutions : July is for Jeopardy

We can sometimes be our worst enemies...

It's quite cliche` to say that sometimes the biggest obstacle to our goals is us; however, it is also quite true. Think back a bit, can you recall a time where you talked yourself down ? Talked yourself  out of aiming for something; talked yourself out of exploring an opportunity; felt guilty about wanting something; when was the last time you believed you could not do something, that something was not within your reach? 

I have been talking myself down perhaps my entire life. I am always concerned with how much space I'm taking up or how much I want or how achieving my dreams will affect the dreams of others. I am always looking out for the needs of others, working arduously to help other people achieve their dreams while putting mine on the back burner.

It sounds ridiculous when I think about the fact that I actually feel guilty for wanting more; but I see it playing out everyday. I will help Tom, Dick, Harry, Janet, Susan and Shelly (those names were literally picked at random lol) with their dreams. I will buy whatever the small business owner is selling, but I feel guilty about starting my own business and asking those same people for their endorsement. There's also the other side of the guilt which makes me feel almost sorry for the fact that I grew up in a middle-class, nuclear family setting; that I need to, have to and must help someone else who was not afforded that kind of childhood.

Now, there is a line.,, a line between empathizing with people (especially people who grew up in difficult situations) and having that turn into sympathy that controls your entire life. 

We are our biggest critics while we are other people's best cheerleaders. We neglect ourselves and our dreams while we attend so carefully to the needs of others. Why do we do this? Why do we feel this need to overlook ourselves? 

I can understand the parents among us who initially put their dreams on hold to attend to the needs of their family and then eventually put those dreams so far back in the deep freezer of their mind that they can't even find it again. My mother is among those people. Mind you, she doesn't admit that she regrets any of it because she helped my father to live his dream, and has seen me achieve enough of my potential for it all to be worth it. But. I'm sure sometimes when she's alone she thinks about what could have been. 

For those among us who have not chosen to defer a dream (or even those who have and want to pick it back up)... let's stop neglecting ourselves. We have been jeopardizing ourselves before we even get the chance to fail. 

Let us stop thinking about "what if" and focus on "why not". "What if I fail", but what if you fly? What if you succeed beyond your imagination? Let us stop doubting ourselves and begin believing in our own abilities ... and even if we fail, we would have tried.

I found this poem on the Poetry Foundation website, which I absolutely love:

Look out for the accompanying podcast and promise me you will stop jeopardizing your dreams.